belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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