Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
