Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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