She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
