We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
