He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
