hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize