I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
