i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
