I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
