i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dignity is for republicans.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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