if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I will be naked everywhere
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
