So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
