ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
