there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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