i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
