i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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