can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
