someone threw a dead crab at me
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize