If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
