Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
ttyl tear gas
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
