You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
