I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
