I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
