I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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