I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
