Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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