I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
