i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
