If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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