Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
