So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
