It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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