So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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