I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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