just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
