Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
