problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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