The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
