i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you never un-have a 4some
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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