omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
