Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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