I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
