Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
