So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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