it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize