I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
