i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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