Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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