Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize