Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I understand Curling. That high.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
