it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize