I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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