No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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