just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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