Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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