sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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