Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
