Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
