She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
