I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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