He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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