when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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