Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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