i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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