Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
