I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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