Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
