I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
