covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
