That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
if only i could text you this smell
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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