happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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