Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
