so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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