yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
