It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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