hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
