im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
