You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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