Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How many fucks given?
0.12846
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
